Relax, while robot hands massage your face. No, please. Relax
There are a number of things I’ll trust to a robot. One is to beep and boop a lot in my favourite sci-fi films. Another is vacuum my carpet (thank you, Roomba). Heck, I’ll even trust a robot to assemble a car. But rub my face? Not so sure about that one. Researchers at a Tokyo university are hoping not everyone is quite so cautious as I and a little more carefree about placing their noggins in tiny robot hands.

It’s two little arms with the equivalent of golf balls attached. I swear it looks like one of those bogus medical devices from Star Trek: TNG – y’know, lots of flashing lights and metallic knobs – but the researchers claim it’ll smooth away your worries. It’s main function is to help people recover from jaw injuries, but it could also be used for recreational massages in the future. I’m about as likely to let a robot give me a root canal, but I’m sure the Japanese are already working on that one. According to the story, shampooing robots are currently all the rage.

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And with the news, here’s a jaded tech exec
Whadaya do after you’ve been ousted from one of the world’s largest technology companies? Why, you join Fox News. Ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina, know less than affectionately as “Rock Star” by her underlings, will reportedly take a job at everyone’s favourite haranguing right-wing news channel. I’ll say this for Carly, she ain’t boring. Insider once had the unique pleasure of meeting Ms. Fiorina. I swear she could tell that I once wet myself in the first grade just by looking at me. In fact, it’s possible I repeated the experience. Formidable woman. Hope she slaps Bill O’Reilly in the piehole. Bill’s got a fresh mouth, so I’d say there’s a reasonable chance.

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Frodo found in Indonesia
I didn’t think Lord of the Rings was a documentary, but I could have been wrong. Hobbits were walking the earth 12,000 years ago, specifically in Indonesia, according to this article. Previously written off as “freaks,” these diminutive creatures are the real deal, according to one scientist. Consistencies in their skeletal structure confirm that they were genuinely a race of little people rather than a collection of anomalies, as was the assumption in 2003 when the bones were first discovered. I guess this means we have to rethink a lot of stuff. Dwarves? You betcha. Elves? Quite possibly. Orcs? Pretty sure they were defeated in the Ontario provincial election.

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