5 tech titans who should never open their mouths in public

Known for his on-stage antics, Steve Ballmer is a rather extreme example of a businessman gone wild. Perhaps he is the greatest actor known to man.

Perhaps he’s just crazy. Either way, this dude should probably just stick to frightening the bejeezus out of people in the boardroom.

Bill Gates

In this legendarily bad television commercial, the richest man on the planet pairs up for “laughs” with the comedian who made gold out of nothing. Both should have just stayed home.

Steve Jobs

Apple’s new iPad, iPhone 4, and even their computers are buzz-generating monsters. Too bad Steve Jobs has the presence of a houseplant.

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Larry Ellison

Larry Ellison is a fascinating figure. His life outside of Oracle is rich (in every sense) and full. He sails (in a little race called “America’s Cup”), flies his own private jet and owns cars that make me weep just reading their names. But Mr. Ellison on stage is not what you’d call “compelling”. Imagine this guy on “Law & Order”? He’d be the reason the show finally gets cancelled.

Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos does well on screen. He’s well spoken, knows how to handle himself, and has a good voice. Although maybe it’s only because I get him confused with Harry Shearer.

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