Decked out like Deckard
Are you just aching to look like Harrison Ford in Blade Runner? Mel Gibson in Mad Max? Bill Campbell in the Rocketeer? (Never mind that last one.) Well, ache no longer. A clothing company called AbbyShot is producing replicas of clothing worn in these iconic movies. The winner here is Deckard’s duster from Blade Runner. Unassailably cool, it’s a full length raincoat, perfect for looking moody, squinting a lot and firing a massive hand cannon at replicants (a.k.a. Microsoft product managers). This particular version of the trenchcoat is completely waterproof, but a more absorbent version is coming if you’re into movie realism and getting a soaker:

“Hardcore BR fans have told us that they want a version of the Deckard that will wrinkle easily and react to water more like the coat in the film, therefore a different fabric has been chosen for Version 2,” says the site.

Personally, I’d plum for the waterproof version, but I guess it’s hard to look as intense and confused as Ford when you’re bone dry. It’s also not cheap: the coat starts at $556.

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The ultimate skank phone
I claim to know nothing about women, but I have a hard time believing this is the ultimate female gadget. The shePhone ™ is the invention of Popgadget founder Mia Kim, who designed this monstrosity at the behest of Marie Claire magazine. Chief among the features is a mini rabbit vibrator, a home pregnancy test, a corkscrew, a Xanax dispenser and a condom dispenser. Women carrying this phone are either a) hosebags, b) alcoholics, c) desperate, d) the most popular gals in the office or e) all of the above.This Wired writer, Sonia Zjawinski, tends to agree.

“Believe me, it takes a lot for me to be offended, but this is way too much,” she writes. “One of these features would have made me chuckle, but all of them? Give me a break.”

Zjawinski provides her own list of desireable features, proving once again that practical still tops slutty when it comes to desireable technology.

“What am I looking for in a phone you ask?
A.) Outstanding audio quality. I’m tired of hearing mumbled words on the other end.
B.) A one-button distress signal to the closest police precinct, which transfers my GPS coordinates to the men and women in blue. I’d rather have this than mace since it’s easy to put yourself in harm’s way when spraying that stuff.
C.) An option to block certain numbers/people from calling or texting me. You shouldn’t have to change phone numbers just because you have a stalker or needy ex.
D.) A mini compartment to store my money and ID, so I don’t have to carry a bag with me on a bike ride.”

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Messy desk, messy mind
Y’know I probably shouldn’t let people walk into my office. It just doesn’t convey that, ermm, air of professionalism I show be showcasing as a technology reporter. I know my desk is cluttered. I know that because I have a working set of eyeballs and because it took me several minutes to locate my keyboard this morning. But if I couldn’t discern the muddle for myself, then help is on the way. Researchers at MIT are working on ways to turn clutter into clarity. The smart folks there are developing software that can apply a “muddle level” to a picture of a messy situation (like my desk) and figure out how it can be improved. The technology could be applied to airport security, congested traffic or other situations where a mess just makes things messy for everyone. As this article on MSNBC clearly notes, clutter is in the eye of the beholder, which to me means I should probably get rid of the empty chip bags but the plastic Stormtroopers and stuffed penguins are here to stay.

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